{"id":1024,"date":"2021-12-11T14:18:01","date_gmt":"2021-12-11T14:18:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nejmeh.net\/?p=1024"},"modified":"2021-12-11T14:45:30","modified_gmt":"2021-12-11T14:45:30","slug":"spots-over-numans-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nejmeh.net\/index.php\/spots-over-numans-thoughts\/","title":{"rendered":"Spots Over Nu\u2019man\u2019s Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Spots Over Nu\u2019man\u2019s Thoughts<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Nu\u2019man doesn\u2019t like loud whizzing aeroplanes. When he was a little boy, he used to hide in his mum\u2019s lap every time a crackling motor-bike passes the neighbourhood and he was the first to shrink in a corner or a closet when a sudden bombardment hits the neighbourhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu\u2019man doesn\u2019t like to die, not because he only loves life, but because his death will break his mother\u2019s heart and cause her a deep sorrow. After his father\u2019s kidnapping, she wept for many years and dressed in full black, she covered her head with a thick black scarf and grew older very quickly. She even stopped loving him; she stopped coddling like before and stopped making his favourite meals. She became like Um Bashir\u2019s maid who just put the food on the table without cheerfully calling to hurry up or ask this or that to add more. She stopped eating chocolates for many years1<\/sup> and \u201ctabooed\u201d making cakes or Knafeh2<\/sup>. It\u2019s true that they were available at Ammu Mansour\u2019s cake shop, but they weren\u2019t the same. He used to whisper in his mum\u2019s ear, when unexpected guests dropped by, not to offer what would be left from that cake. \u201cI will get some from the shop mum,\u201d he would say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Azza will be sad also, but not as sad as his mother. She will regret all the fights they had, she will regret accusing him to Amer when she caught him smoking secretly at the veranda. Amer went hard on him that day, he rebuked him harshly and cut his pocket money, so he stayed for weeks eating his sandwiches \u201csec\u201d without a sip of Pepsi. Azza changed a lot after they had displaced from their house in the town to this big building in \u201cBurj Elbarajneh\u201d3<\/sup>. She started shouting at him every time he enters her room. She became spending more time in reading magazines that she hides under the bed if her mum suddenly entered the room. That day when he got mad of her and shucked off her magazine out the window, she said: \u201cInshala tmout<\/em> I wish you die\u201d. She will remember this and weep bitterly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He can\u2019t tell how much Randa will be sad, but sure she will regret every time she was tough on him and treated him haughtily. She rebuked him every time he got a low mark in his exams: \u201cI am ashamed of you! You big arse. Go through yourself in the see<\/em> you dum\u201d. Its true that he hated her for that, but it is also true that he was always proud of her. Every time a new teacher would ask him if Randa relates to him, he would say in full mouth: Randa is my sister. He imagined her crying bitterly and murmuring: \u201cForgive me \u201chabibi<\/em> (sweet heart) for all the bad things I did to you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amer could be the least to grieve his death. It will lessen his burden. This Amer has no heart, in his thirties and still has no fianc\u00e9 or even a lover. Life to him is nothing but duties; he works like machine and finances the house since his father\u2019s death, but nothing more. He never talked to him about emotions or love or girls; he never taught him, like older brothers do, how to deal with his sexual frustrations. When he told him that he is going to join the Popular Front in \u201cHayy-Issilum\u201d to defend this suburb<\/p>\n\n\n\n